After a fairly rainy summer in London (shocker), I decided
to take a quick trip to Portugal because flights to Greece were too expensive
and my skin was becoming as pale as a Twilight character’s. I was pleasantly
surprised by the low-key beauty of Portugal. The turquoise-blue water and
winding city streets of Lisbon kept my friends and I entertained, and people on
the streets were constantly promoting their restaurants, begging us to come try
their seafood. I’ve never felt so popular, or so full.
I learned two things on my travels:
I should always travel with a Korean.
I should always travel with a Korean.
I’ve always loved meeting
eccentric people when I travel, and my Korean friend Eugene made this really
easy to do. Eugene was a hit in Portugal. Every day on the street, people asked
where she was from (Stranger: “Are you from China?” Eugene: “No!”). One of
these people was Carlos, a local in the tiny town of Faro, Portugal, who was trying
to promote his restaurant to tourists.
Carlos taught us valuable life
lessons:
·
“When you are traveling, do not plan your day around
food.”
o
Too late. Our life in Portugal revolved around eating.
·
“If you do not like a woman’s personality, you
will not like her boobs or ass.”
o
Carlos has obviously never met Kanye West.
Although Carlos is fun to make fun
of, he had some valuable advice to share, too. His philosophy involved living
life to the fullest and not being afraid to meet people. In all seriousness,
these are important lessons that everyone should follow.
I should always bring a screaming baby with me to the airport.
I should always bring a screaming baby with me to the airport.
It was midnight, 50 degrees and
rainy when my friends and I returned to London. As we waited in line to get
through customs, a man pushed through the queue with his wife and screaming
baby. The man was smiling as the baby screamed, and I soon found out why. He
was using the baby to get through the line faster.
“Sorry, the baby’s crying. We need
to get through. See, she’s crying.” He was Jesus and the crowd was the Red Sea.
They magically parted.
While we waited in line for at
least 20 minutes, that family got through the line in about 5.
If anyone would like to rent their fussy child to me the
next time I travel, please let me know. I have 10 years of babysitting
experience, and, thanks to the faithful tutoring of Eugene, I can teach your
child how to say “Hello,” “fat,” and “How are you?” in Korean.
